@robdelaney: Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?
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@WilliamAder: Co-worker playfully snapped my suspenders and now everyone in the office knows my safe word.
@davidkenny100: It's impossible to be a parent and stay on twitter so I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye. So this is your uncle, you live with him now.
@waelwulf: Careful, friends. [bends down and examines a handprint in the sidewalk] There is a very powerful child nearby.