@robdelaney: Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?
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@noog: If you listen to a Miley Cyrus song backwards you can hear Satan refusing to have sex with her.
@TheThomason: Before handing your wallet and wife's necklace over to that angry gunman, pause to consider how sweet it would be if your son became Batman.
@juneohara65: 5 year old niece to me: What do you want to be when you grow up? Me: Let's not rush things, OK?
@Beatweek: Obama has been endorsed by Warren Buffett, Colin Powell, Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates. Romney has been endorsed by Lindsay Lohan.