@robdelaney: Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?
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@AaronChewning: *overheard behind me on a plane* Dad: “you’re getting potato chips in Abigail’s hair” 6ish year old son: “calm down Kenneth”
@MableGertrude: Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii? Me: No, this is just my lunch.
@notseriouslyamy: Enough with the fist bumping. I never understand what is happening. This time I held my hands open because I thought he was giving me M&Ms