@nerdamage: Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?
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@ramenfuneral: when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something
@TitansHomer: Him: Can you believe what's going on in Egypt? Me: Yeah...it's crazy...I gotta go. Bye. Me: *googles what's happening in Egypt?*
@Prince_Smarming: Imagine my surprise when I found out "restraining order" did not mean she wanted me to tie her up.
@Leslie_Annie: My 10 yr old daughter was saying how stressful life is but she did add "well, at least I've managed to go 10 years without drinking"