@UNTRESOR: Why bother drinking water? You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PlainTravis: I don't respect Aquaman, because I can't respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans.
@dave_cactus: ME: Well, time to make like a tree, and leaf. HER: *giggling* So, my place or... ME: *starts sprouting leaves from my fingers* HER: WHAT THE
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Who ate all the cookies? 5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn’t see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.
@Wtftab: Useful information: don't turn around if a woman throws a shoe at your back. Because more than likely the other one is in mid flight.