@JohnLyonTweets: "Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?" I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.
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@honeybadgerMel: I wish my ears would visibly lay back like a cats when I'm pissed off so people would know when to leave me the hell alone.
@drayzze: 16: "What was the internet like in the old days?" Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*
@TheSadnesses: if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected