@_Kayditty: Why can't I be rubied or diamonded. NOOO. I had to be jaded.
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@Doublelife64: Me to 4 yr old niece: your shoes are on the wrong feet Niece looks down and says: I don't have any other feet Outsmarted again.
@ShortWhiteNUgly: Me: I found a job! Mom: That's great! What is it? Me: debt collection! Mom:.... Me..... Mom:... Me: I think you know why I'm calling.
@ClichedOut: Me: I have an imaginary gf. Therapist: U can do better than that. M: I know, it's just-- T: I was talking to her.
@goldengateblond: "We had unprotected sex. Give us a present." -- the subtext of every baby shower