@E_lok44: "Why can't I just eat the wax?"
~me, when I can't open the cheese
@MariyaAlexander: How to make her squirt: make sure she is a lime
@moose_chocolate: "Carrie" is my favourite movie about how religious faith leads to supernatural mass murder.
@DancesWithTamis: I want a rich person to hire me to float around in their pool and feed me bread I want to be a wealthy person's duck
@_mindflakes: Doctor: We need to double your meds
Me: Will I still be able to knit little capes for my hamster?
Doctor: We need to triple your meds
@noog: The news