@E_lok44: "Why can't I just eat the wax?"
~me, when I can't open the cheese
@T_Bonezzz_: Who called them Drinking Buddies and not Palcoholics
@ventivodkacran: "I am as misquoted as Marilyn Monroe."
- Abe Lincoln
@sweetandweak: Daughter just told me, "Dad, I don't make sandwiches, I eat sandwiches."
One day her picture will be on money.
@thepunningman: I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
@ChrChristensen: "Do you believe in evolution?"
"Then what makes The West superior?