@E_lok44: "Why can't I just eat the wax?"
~me, when I can't open the cheese
@cwhudson: *taps on a super old dude's oxygen tank* you know that you can get this stuff for free right
@KeetPotato: [paddling silently along the amazon in 2-man kayak taking in it's beauty]
*from behind me*
you know they named this after a website
@Probgoblin: YOU CAN ORDER AN AIR HORN ON AMAZON AND BRING THE FIGHT DIRECTLY TO THE GEESE.
@FullGrownChris: Cashier: "Look at all this candy! You're going to have a lot of happy kids this Halloween"
Me: "It's Halloween?"
@mikeleffingwell: It's weird how after they couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together the King's men were like "Let's give the horses a shot at it"