@causticbob: Why can't Stephen Hawking dance? Because he's white.
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@BonaFideIntent: Daily 'Facts About CHEESE' Fact About Cheese #3: "String Cheese. Is not made of string."
@RedemptionAJ: Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?
@1Happytwit: Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.