@rolldiggity: Why crush your kid's imagination by telling them the Tooth Fairy "doesn't exist" when you can just have her leave a suicide note?
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@DaddyJew: Librarian: can I check you out? Me: sure [spins around] Librarian: I meant your book Me: oh yea, that makes way more sense
@OtherDanOBrien: ME: it's horrible. I would wish it on my worst enemy GUY: you mean *wouldn't* ME: hahahahahaha you're sweet
@Just_Lee_: Don't say you love me unless you have bought me a miniature donkey. Without the donkey, they are just empty, meaningless words.