@LeviathanPride: Why did the US invade Iraq when Steven Seagal's ponytail contains 85% of the worlds natural resources?
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*
@OfficeofSteve: Instead of cursing and swearing when someone cuts me off in traffic, I just yell lyrics from Spice Girl songs out the window
@thenatewolf: Me: my doctor says if I get annoyed I could die You: so you can't watch that YouTube link? Me: I'm saying it's dangerous to even send them