@LeviathanPride: Why did the US invade Iraq when Steven Seagal's ponytail contains 85% of the worlds natural resources?
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@SamTR7: I just got an email offering "free bible verses". You know, because who can afford bible verses?
@TheBoydP: The best thing about eating healthy food is all the incredible food you eat an hour later because you're so hungry...
@aka_fatman: Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*
@dshack8: "I really have no idea how to pronounce my name but I won't admit it." Guys named Geoff.