@TheMichaelRock: Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
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@DrCephalopod: Son: I want a LEGO Millennium Falcon for Christmas Me: *checking price online* would you settle for the actual Millennium Falcon?
@drhappyknuckles: Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad.
@evanrhorne: As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"