@stockejock: Why didn't they just call the Selfie Stick a NarcissiStick?
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@Snarfernini: He said we needed to talk so I screamed 'Who are you & what are you doing in my house?' Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad
@lilpwoppa: Just seen a woman in town with lipgloss so sticky she had 16 flies attached to her mouth.
@GlennyRodge: COMPUTER: Enter password ME: [types '14days'] COMPUTER: Your password is two week ME: Uh? COMPUTER: Computer do joke. Computer funny.