@kumailn: Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!
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@SimonNRicketts: BIDEN: I'mma punch him when he comes here. OBAMA: No, Joe. Don't do that. BIDEN: Punch him round the back. OBAMA: Joe. BIDEN: Kick, then.
@jordan_stratton: [job interview] Look. First, you give me a job. Then I get paid. THEN I'll be able to buy pants. I can't just skip ahead to the last step.
@wilnettleton: "Last Christmas" is a strange song. It's been 12 months and we're just now addressing this situation?