@SamuelHLowe: -Why didn't you answer your home phone?
-Because I'm walking the dog. Don't you trust me?
-Of course I trust you! Put the dog on the phone.
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@SupernaturaIPic: CAS'S TELEPORTING SKILLS HAVE BEEN EXPOSED
@therealeatwood: BAD COP: Throw the book at him. GOODREADS COP: OK! Check out Ruby, the beautiful and devastating debut novel by Cynthia Bond. ★★★½
@HalfBakedHoney: I can't wait to tell my grandchildren how many times I've survived the end of the world.
@EricaLynnz: If you're driving a getaway car just remember the best way to lose the cops is to ship them via the post office
@Vodkantots: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go.
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