@clindsaysway: Why do all these blurry people keep telling me I'm drunk?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shegotagronk: My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.
@ArfMeasures: DATE: In my room when I was younger [smiles] I used to sing with a hairbrush ME [spits out drink] I never even knew hairbrushes could sing
@Storminika: The president says 60% of Americans don't know math -- 60%. So what if 60% don't know math? What about the 85% that do know math?