@Spotzwoj: Why do all zombies have sprained ankles?
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@LlamaInaTux: Moms 2007: I don't know why you text LOL when you aren't literally laughing Moms 2017: Cry face emoji, clapping hands, three monkeys
@IamEnidColeslaw: a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds
@N0pantz: Watch your wedding video backwards. You'll love the part when you take your ring off, walk away from the altar, & leave with your friends.
@causticbob: A man has been jailed for forging banknotes. He also got a big fine which he immediately paid in crisp $9 notes.