@OurMarketingGuy: Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
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@Fred_Delicious: "Hi yes I'd like to attempt the Cheeseburger challenge" "Very good sir" [ripped as hell cheeseburger runs out of the kitchen & bodyslams me]
@LMLMadness: Sleeping Beauty is my favorite story about how any sweet princess will activate her fire breathing dragon if you wake her up from a nap.
@upsidedowntrash: [1st Row at Beyoncé Concert] Beyoncé: Who run da world?! *points mic at me* ME: [having briefly heard the song once before] …squirrels?