@OurMarketingGuy: Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
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@ericaj1721: I'm always behind the person at McDonald's who acts like they've never seen the menu in their life
@scenesfromahat: As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
@iwearaonesie: wife: Did you work late? [flashback to me missing my exit because the car in front of me had Shrek on and I wanted to see the ending] me:Yep
@PantsDonkey: 1:5 people in the world are Chinese. My family has 5 people so its either my mom, dad, brother Colin or Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin