@Rollinintheseat: Why do authors subtitle their books, "A Novel". Did someone look at their book one day and say "I thought this was a sandwich?"
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@markedly: Mafia Boss: You wearin' a wire? Me: "Wire" you asking me that? lol get it [the rest of this tweet takes place on the bottom of a river]
@TheBoydP: Top Four Signs of Job Security: 4. Promotions and raises 3. Specialized skills 2. Top producer 1. Compromising photos of the boss
@noog: God: Don't eat that Apple. You can smoke this plant I made instead [20 min later] Adam: Sooo hungry Eve: Me too Adam: That apple looks good