@MrGeorgeWallace: Why do football players only dance when good shit happens? Just once I wanna see a QB throw an interception & do a sad, interpretive dance.
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@sofarrsogud: GUY: *cuts me off in traffic ME: *eating cereal* YOU SIR, SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED DRIVE A CAR!! *angrily waves spoon
@ValeeGrrl: Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver.
@njlitigator: Mark Zuckerberg I know you are a new parent but it's way more fun to tell children you are giving away their inheritance when they are teens