@panku_: Why do infants wake up crying as if they are the ones who have to go out and work!?
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@stevevsninjas: wife: what's wrong? slug: boss said I work slowly. wife: he's harsh. take it with a grain of- slug: TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF WHAT, DIANE?
@Thynebear: I am the all knowing oracle, you may ask me one question "How do you pronounce quinoa?" [it's just covered in sweat] um can u ask me another
@DeanOkay: I learned mathematical fractions from a drug dealer. He said if I don't pay $4,000 in 7 days, I'll lose 3 fingers.