@JenniferVaz36: Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: I'm supposed to find out more about my hero for school. Me: Aw, you came to me. 5: Yeah. Can you tell me more about Batman?
@Hmmm_er: She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe
@_b1p0larbear: Daughter 7 catches spiders, puts them in jars to make them fight, then releases the victor. I don't know whether to be impressed or scared.