@JenniferVaz36: Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it
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@EJGomez: this toddler on the bus said "the wheels on the bus go round & round" & this guy yelled back "no shit Sherlock" & I can't stop clapping?
@bossy_bootz: Everyone's an atheist until they're making a phone call & praying it goes to voicemail
@SortaBad: My college girlfriend texted me for the first time in 10 years this weekend and I'm 1 million percent sure this is Adele's fault