@Storminika: Why do people knock on a locked public restroom door? And what is the person inside to say? "who is it?"
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@PhuckinCody: [first date] HER: i'm really into astronomy ME: [revealing my secret stash of Milky Ways] you don't say
@SamGrittner: *job interview* "So this yearbook isn't your resume?" "No. I'm not a moron. Those are my references. I highlighted all the NEVER CHANGE's."
@Brampersandon_: [Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died.
@ohpeetie: Boyfriend is talking about taking me on a camping trip. Like, a real one where we'll sleep in a tent and pee outside. Is he mad at me?