@BlondAmbitionTO: Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road? Do they really think someone will take it? Do you think I should wash it first?
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@WittySassBasket: I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact.
@Rollinintheseat: When a waiter sees my disability and asks the person I'm with what I want to eat, I respond "Our telepathy is a bit off. You should ask me."