@karencheee: Why do people say children are the future? They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.
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@dafloydsta: [date] HER: So what's your spirit animal? ME: Roosters. HER: Lol, why? ME: *leans in close* I also start my day screaming.
@longwall26: No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave.
@QwertyJones3: Pictionary is the perfect game to play whenever you need an excuse to punch your friend in the face.