@karencheee: Why do people say children are the future? They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.
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@nbadag: *mob meeting* ayo new guy—who're you? "they call me the butcher" oh yea? why's that, butch? *smacks him with a pork loin* "no reason"
@Playing_Dad: [At dinner] Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat? Me: Probably like 90% D: So it's 10% balls? Me: *spits out food*
@TheFearBoners: 8 year old at the park said I threw like a girl. He found out I kick in the nuts like a girl too.