@TheGrimKing: Starting my diet and training tomorrow; hope I can count on your support and prayers that I die in my sleep. Please RT.

@Marlebean: Me: My neighbor who's a doctor said it's healthy to sleep nude Friend: What type of dr? Me: Optometrist I guess. He has lots of binoculars

@novicefather: A breakfast buffet at my funeral so people will be happy. But with soy bacon and chia seed pancakes so they know it's a time to grieve.

@mydmac: There are 2 kinds of people in this world; 1. People who like math A. People who hate math 3. People who really don't understand math

@Cpin42: When I was a kid, I wanted to be Stephen Hawking. Now that he's dead, that feeling is even stronger