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@NaomiGlitter: Why do people say half a dozen?
Why can't they just say Six
@envydatropic: If you stand by and watch someone wreck their life, you're part of the problem
And yet we all still go to weddings for the open bar
@_sleepysmile: Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
@Marlebean: 'A confident swipe of the debit card' is my favorite fantasy.
@Audenary: Oscar Wilde: Always be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
Liam Neeson: I will find them.
Wilde: Wait, I meant-
@SuicideBooth1: [couples therapy]
Mrs: he's too handsy, always touching me all over...
Mr: [who is an octopus] I CANT HELP IT LINDA IM LIKE 90% HANDS...