@WhiteKid4Sale: Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly.
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@hmcpherson17: Sitting outside the dentist office eating Oreos, b/c I think everyone should earn their pay.
@Token_Geezer: A vegan, an atheist and a reformed ex-smoker walk into a bar. Everyone else in the bar leaves.
@Overdue_Bills: She was like "wrong hole", so I said "adventurous on the e-harmony profile isn't knitting quilts Velma", long story short I'm still single.
@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"