@Parker_Simpson: Why do people say,"You can't make this stuff up." Nope. Not true at all. You can literally make up anything you want anytime.
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@AmishPornStar1: Seriously joggers?! You're gonna run and carry on a conversation at the same time? And I'm all outta breath just finishing this McMuffin!!!
@FadeAway2: You drink WAY too much, and you have questionable morals . . . me talking to myself in the mirror before going out at night .
@Sickayduh: [First date] "Ok. Don't let her know you're just 40 squirrels in human clothes" "You said that out loud"