@FunnyJokeBook: Why do pretty faces happen to bad people?
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@Pauly_Miller: If you ever doubt the value of writers, just follow your favorite actor on Twitter.
@Cheeseboy22: My wife wants me to go to Zumba with her. I am hopeful that this is a place to get burritos.
@hippieswordfish: ME: any advice DAD: its ok to embellish a little [later at job interview] INTERVIEWER: tell me about yourself M: i wrote harry potter
@SteveSuckington: "I take pride in my job. I transport the worlds most precious cargo" -oh, u drive a school bus? "LMAO Hell no! I'm a drug smuggler u nerd"