@FunnyJokeBook: Why do pretty faces happen to bad people?
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@hipstermermaid: 1886: We invented a car! 1903: We invented a plane! 1969: We went to the moon! ... ... ... ... ... ... 2015: Taco Emoji!
@Bexdora: KING1: I bring you gold. K2: I bring you frankincense. K3: *drops pot of myrrh* *pot shatters* Oh. I bring you...erm...interpretive dance!
@ohpeetie: Boyfriend is talking about taking me on a camping trip. Like, a real one where we'll sleep in a tent and pee outside. Is he mad at me?
@IamEnidColeslaw: There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above