@Treememories: Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry? I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes.
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@MeetYourDaddy: Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey.
@Storminika: Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can't do is pick up it's own poop. You're just a poop collector.
@LemmingDad: When children vomit, sometimes it sounds like they're saying the names of Ikea furniture.