@lottiegwalker: Why do they call it alcoholics anonymous if you introduce yourself?
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@rolldiggity: Why crush your kid's imagination by telling them the Tooth Fairy "doesn't exist" when you can just have her leave a suicide note?
@ihateitmunky: guy who's about to repair my iPhone screen: may i have your passcode for testing? Me: ..ya know what i don't even want it fixed
@Phook75: "You'll be visited by 3 ghosts." "Will they show me the true spirit of Christmas?" "No, they'll try to eat you." Pac-Man Christmas Carol