@WilliamAder: Why do they even bother having different brands of milk?
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@envydatropic: Nothing good can come from a gay man greeting you with an up and down look followed by an "Oh, honey"
@audipenny: [god, creating chickens] Put a red beard on a fat hiccuping sparrow. Give him a matching hat, I don't care
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Make her the center of attention ME: Okay [later at restaurant] ME: *throws food at next table* ME: *pointing at date* SHE DID IT