@slimmy_shady: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them?
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@egg_dog: supermarketes become so much more terrifying if you find a product with the word ‘instant’ and replaec it with ‘sudden’
@AdmiralAkbrown: I get so fustrated when people say "supposably" or "irregardless" I feel like I'm literally drownding
@justabloodygame: *detective bangs on table* I SAID GIVE ME A NAME! "Uh, Aaron?" Aaron... I like it! *'Aaron' leaves interrogation room, ready for a new life*
@Smooheed: *walks into room to find toddler stuck upside down yelling for help* "Hold it right there baby, Mommy's just taking a quick picture"