@MrGeorgeWallace: Why do they only put expiration DATES on food? It'd be fun as hell if they gave us the exact time too. "We got 8 minutes to eat this ham!!!"
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@lloydrang: 1970s: "Hey baby" 1990s: "Hey babe" 2014: "Hey bae" 2020: "Hey b" 2030: "All hail our glorious squirrel overlords"
@InternetHippo: I was 13 the first time I tried probiotics. Some kids were passing a cup of yogurt around at a party. I figured why not? Now I’m in prison.
@PLATINUM2000: My daughter thought putting glue on her hands would help her walk up the walls, we're both a little disappointed that it didn't work.