@Deurb1: Why do they play this music on the elevators if we're not suppose to slow dance:)
@mikeym00n: I USED MY WIFE'S VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO AND NOW I CAN'T STOP YELLING!
@WilliamAder: Friend at Memorial Day BBQ: I see you wasted no time with the white pants.
Me: These are my legs.
@Jenny4ashley: My boyfriend is so rude. He hasn't even introduced himself to me yet.
You know who you are.
@loudmouth_usa: 1) Pull black socks to knees 2) Wear sandals 3) Wear Magnum PI shorts 4) Make ball sack slightly visible
-Grandpa's guide to lawn mowing