@Home_Halfway: Why do we call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: Son, it's ur 18th birthday, so I got u a brand new car... "OMG DAD. WOW-" ...dboard box. "But-" Pack up, ur moving out birthday boy.
@msmessymist: Whenever I lose a follower I assume they died and the family had the account removed, because hello! I'm amazing!!
@TheCiscoKidder: I'm convinced that my wife took 9 years of education at 3 different colleges just to win all the arguments for the rest of my life.
@frogshack: [in the car with the wife] *I take both hands off the wheel* Wife: Thank you, that was making it very hard for me to drive