@weedguy420boner: why do we park in the driveway but fetishize an impossible and ridiculous masculinity on the hemingway
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@Social_Mime: Texting my wife when we were dating - What are you wearing? Texting my wife now - Did the dog poop?
@SteveSuckington: "Annie are you ok?" -yep "Are you ok?" -dude, I just said yes "Are you ok Annie?" -THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS MICHAEL
@rumsnipe: Mechanic : your motor is losing power and it won't last long. Me : you been talking to my wife bro?