@SadPeruna: Why do we PARK on a DRIVEway, but my mom's boyfriend Craig won't let me call him Dad when we hug?
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@LoriLuvsShoes: Who me? Oh I'm just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
@pixelatedboat: You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears
@samfromks: My wife has been helping my neighbor hook up his VCR for 3 hours now. Starting to get suspicious... What kind of monster still has a VCR?
@4SLars: So glad I spent $50K on university instead of saving for retirement; I'll be the most well-read indigent in the VIP area under the overpass.