@AllanCresswell: Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?
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@andreeahluscu: Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car.
@JediGigi: Dating Profile Sex: Probably Favorite Food: Yes Favorite Movie: Star Wars Favorite Book: LOLZ
@junejuly12: The main difference between kids and dogs is that kids grow out of following you to the bathroom
@aka_fatman: Indiana Jones: [screaming as his hand is crushed under a door] ARRGGHHH! WHY? WHY DID I REACH FOR MY HAT? I OWN SO MANY HATS!!