@turtledumplin: Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: In the eye doctor waiting room with my mom. There's apparently an old person throat clearing competition here today.
@ScottLinnen: Airport moving sidewalks are great for when you only want to feel like George Jetson for 10 seconds before you're back to Fred Flintstone.
@EliTerry: I think marriage should be between a robot and a spider horse because I'm a retarded man child and this is what I bring to the conversation.
@stevevsninjas: This hasn't helped my bull get any sleep at all. In fact, the closer I get to him with the bulldozer, the more agitated he gets.