@turtledumplin: Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?
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@IntrepidDeviant: *Arrives at ticket stall with my girl* Me: Two tickets to the movie please. Attendant: For The Hobbit? Me: No, that's my girlfriend.
@kumailn: Guys, please don't judge someone based on stuff they wrote themselves in a public forum meant to reach the widest possible audience.
@ItsAndyRyan: HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT WITH SEX. SURE, YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE, THEY JUST DON'T SEE YOU IN THAT WAY