@turtledumplin: Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?
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@extranapkins: Remember "pantsing" people in high school... sneaking up behind one of your bros and slipping an extra pair of pants on over his pants
@sixfootcandy: Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
@Xalqee: How frustrating would it be if you turned into a zombie before you had a chance to put your dentures in?
@buseysteeth: You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.