@robfee: Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.
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@4ndBest: [Crime scene] Detective: the victim was high af when he died.. you could say it was *takes off sunglasses* D: blunt force trauma
@clindsaysway: Overheard, my parents, watching the World Cup: Dad: Who are you routing for? Mom: I'm routing for it to be over.
@FuckabillyRex: "Sorry, I have to take this call." "That's a banana. And it's half eaten." *covers banana with hand "I don't tell you how to do business."
@Smug_Lemur: Good News: Got rid of the skunk smell on the cat using hydrogen peroxide, dishsoap & baking soda Bad News: the cat now looks like Billy Idol