@hazelmotes1: Why does everyone have to point out they adopted their dog? Are they worried that we are suspicious because it doesn't look like them?
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@crushingbort: "Mr Bush, do you want my coke?" "Yeah sure" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away* "Hey kid...catch" *kid turns around to see incoming plane*
@onion_an: 1st date: I love the spiderman movies Me: So do I [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: I used to be a spider
@nPhelendriqal: Ughh...7 more hours till I can go home. Oh, sorry, my Canadian friends...7 more Kilometers till I can go home. Or is it liters?
@KarenKilgariff: FAKE BREEDS I'VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbyterian