@FBSisnothere: Why does everyone mention that in space no-one can hear you scream instead of mentioning something positive like how no-one can hear u yodel
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@Home_Halfway: "Let's do 5 sets of squats & then try lifting for an hour. It looks like you got out of shape after your dad died" ~ Really personal trainer
@T_N_Crumpets: [Supermarket] Me: QUICK, WHERE IS YOUR FROZEN SECTION Assistant: Aisle 7 Me: GREAT [opens trench coat and 6 penguins fall out] let's go guys
@Vodkantots: [to other patients in psychiatrist's waiting room] I'm not like you people. This is court mandated.