@FBSisnothere: Why does everyone mention that in space no-one can hear you scream instead of mentioning something positive like how no-one can hear u yodel
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@hyperblastchic: Me: Gouda would pair nicely with this merlot! Priest: This is communion... M: Oh. Gouda would taste well with the blood of Chr- P: Leave.
@HeatherAntos: Trump getting elected after Obama was not what they meant by Orange is the New Black
@shariv67: Boy, your name must be Adobe cuz when you call me up for a date, I say "Ask me again later."
@Sarcasticsapien: Father's Day is a great time to give your father a tie so he can look extra nice at the job he settled for because you were born.