@theshantilly: Why does laundry happen to good people?
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@canadasandra: Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
@rolldiggity: I bet other insects hate it when they ask a caterpillar how she became a butterfly, and she's all, "Just diet and exercise, guys!"
@patnelke: My sleeping pills say don't mix with alcohol, but drop it in the glass and it dissolves just fine. Doctors think they know everything.