@thagr8short1: Why does my mustard bottle insist on peeing in my sandwich before dispensing my mustard?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: Prince Charming: I will awaken her with love's sweet ki-- Sleeping Beauty: five more minutes
@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.
@TheAlexNevil: At the beach, looking at all these fit young people, with their perfect bodies and perfect tans and I think "I wish I could be a shark".