@cluedont: Why does my wife always wait until I'm at the opposite end of the house before asking me to 'Merm frner mernferr brnerfer!'?
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@noogscorner: Splinter: Leo. Mikey: I'm Michelangelo. That's Leo. Donny: I'm Donatello. That's Leo. Leo: I thought I was Raphael. - Why they wear masks
@Cheeseboy22: A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
@NYC_Blonde: Watching the Olympics. Me: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING! GOLD MEDAL! Announcer: Ohhh! Not a good performance, those scores will not be pretty.