@ErikGators: Why does my wife think its weird I talk to a bunch of strangers on the Internet, but it's ok for her to talk to multiple cats.
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@50NerdsofGrey: 'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support.
@iGreenMonk: I failed my driver's test. The instructor asked me "What do you do at a red light? I said "I usually see what people are up to on twitter.
@RealSamHarwood: Unless you are literally the Dark Lord Voldemort then a snake is just not an acceptable pet dude