@lovemydogduck: Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger & I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner.
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@josePhDhoran: "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor"- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the 'Caution: wet floor' sign
@LeBearGirdle: *texting with girls* Her: I <3 you Me:[throws phone in disgust but picks it up and texts back angrily] you're less than 3
@Imnotsurehow: A sure fire way to lose a afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"