@El_nacho_Nigre: Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art? Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"
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@sarcasticmommy4: What I said: GET IN THE CAR! What my kids heard: Pour another bowl of cereal & watch TV.
@SCbchbum: “Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice.”
@DanMentos: "If you're having girl? Problems. I feel bad. For you? Son." -Russian guy telling his pregnant wife he hopes it's a boy.