@moose_chocolate: Why does the media always call a stabbing incident a "violent" stabbing incident? Is it possible to stab someone non-violently?
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@ShortSleeveSuit: HR: Alright people, let's be a little more sensitive to Linda bc she's pregnant with child Sally [who is pregnant with a hedgehog]: *sigh*
@mrjohndarby: [meeting my gf's parents] her: *quietly* don't worry, my dad's nice but he doesn't say much [later] her dad: I love my daughter very a lot me: i see
@rickolantern: I'm NOT Superman. What appears to be a red and yellow S on my chest is just the result of a rather fortuitous mustard and ketchup stain.