@IamEnidColeslaw: WHY DOES THIS BOTTLE OF BODY WASH HAVE DIRECTIONS PRINTED ON IT
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShortSleeveSuit: [Farmer's market] Me: One of your finest farmers plz Farmer: That's not how this works Me: Ok just give me some seeds & I'll grow my own
@weinerdog4life: Whenever you ride an elevator with other people, it's best not to mention your imaginary friends even if someone is standing on Carl.
@david8hughes: My ransom was dropped from $30,000 to fifty bucks when my parents told my kidnappers it'd take 2 days to come up with the money.
@TheTalkingPipe: Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.