@laureneoneal: Why doesn't anyone invite copyeditors to parties when we're such cool people out with whom to hang?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@timmartinwhy: WHAT I ORDER: French toast WHAT WAITER HEARS: If my water goes below the brim you die
@DirtMcTurd: Two things you need to know about me: 1. I am hung over. 2. Sometimes I say the word over for no reason.
@hipstermermaid: I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad.
@iamburtjarvis: ufo crew: why are we hovering? ufo captain: i wanna pet those dogs ufo crew: why not land? ufo cap: those talking monkeys are annoying af