@laureneoneal: Why doesn't anyone invite copyeditors to parties when we're such cool people out with whom to hang?
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@_thatigirl: 83 yo man, "You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl". Me: "I'm caucasian". Him, "Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me".
@SaraESpivey: My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now.
@TheTweetOfGod: Friday, Friday, all gonna die next Friday. Everybody's gettin' ready for the world's end. Gotta make My mind up: Which souls should I take?
@corinnemlwsw: "there's nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.